Hold your horses fellow platformer fans, this is not the Conker we know and love. Instead of finally bringing us a proper Conker game which fans have been clamouring for for years, Microsoft have dashed hopes yet again with Young Conker, a HoloLens experience developed by Asobo Studios. As the name suggests, Young Conker has a pint-sized version of the foul-mouthed squirrel running around levels which are generated by your surroundings. He will teeter on the edge of tables, run up walls when applicable and even take to the skies when fighting randomly generated enemies.

Coin collecting challenges and enemy encounters seem to be conjured up on the fly, depending on where you look while using HoloLens. While it does seem a cool idea, my god does Conker look horrible. He looks terrifying, with spindly limbs and bulging eyes, rather than the chunky rodent we once knew. As with Project Spark’s random inclusion of Conker, I don’t understand why this IP was picked for a HoloLens title, when Conker devotees are already hopeless enough as it is and this is going to push most of them into total frothing fanboy rage.

This game was revealed alongside the $3000 Development Edition of the HoloLens, which releases on the 30th of March. I won’t doubt that it’s a great way of debuting how the HoloLens hardware can be used but why Conker? Just why. Check out the trailer below and see the woodland horror for yourself.